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We all have a picture of what our ideal mate will be like. Tall, dark, and handsome; creative, sensitive, and smart — these qualities often become part of a mental checklist we use, consciously or not, on every new man we date. Eventually, our checklist becomes really specific. We create an idea of what we want and assume that it’s only a matter of time before he comes along, right? Wrong!
Throw Away a Checklist for Love and Focus on Every Person Individually
Having a checklist for love may actually prevent you from finding it. Even though it seems like a smart way to find what you’re looking for, that mental list can cause you to miss opportunities that are right in front of you. So resist the temptation to put more energy into your expectations and open yourself up to the possibilities life presents you instead.
Getting rid of specific expectations will help you see the person in front of you much better. Of course, having some standards is good for you; it’s healthy and shows your self-respect. It shows you know yourself and know what you want. However, if your standards are too specific, you’re missing opportunities that could, otherwise, make you happy. You’re missing on actually finding what you’re looking for in the first place.
Rather than focusing on external qualities, such as appearance, hobbies, or professional success, think about internal characteristics. What makes this person in front of you unique? What are his qualities? Ultimately what makes for a happy couple is two people who want the same things. Finding happiness in a shared life boils down to having common values; not that he likes to mountain climb, is 6’2″, and comes from a good family! All that is just the icing on the cake. The cake itself may be someone you never expected.
Since you’re here, check our article “Finding the Person for You“; it might help you on your quest to finding the right partner for you.
